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Love might be priceless, but weddings certainly aren’t. If you’re footing the bill for your kid’s big day (or for your own nuptials), it’s important not to allow the age-old wedding tradition of “something borrowed” to mean long-term debt that you’ll carry for years.
Weddings can be expensive, but they don’t have to become financial burdens that stick around like an uninvited guest at the buffet.
The modern wedding comes with inflation, not just flowers
The average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is around $36,000, a number that has consistently inched up in the past few years. Inflation and vendor demand are major drivers.
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The good news is that many of the expenses of throwing a wedding can be reduced by making smart decisions about the location of the celebration, the length of the guest list and how many bells and whistles the happy couple wants on their big day.
The majority of couples worry that inflation will have an impact on the cost of their weddings, and with good reason: Inflation makes such things as flowers and food more expensive. Staffing cost increases make it more expensive for vendors to employ servers. Supply issues might not only cause delays but also result in increased prices for wedding supplies.
Parents are the hidden lenders of love
Though the tradition used to be that the bride’s parents pay for the wedding while the groom’s parents foot the bill for the rehearsal dinner, most couples are responsible for their wedding expenses.
For some, this is because they’re older and already established in their careers, and for others, it’s because they want to do things their way without anyone else having a say.
Around 30% to 40% of couples rely on parental support to help fund the big day. While there’s nothing wrong with helping kids pay for their wedding, problems arise when clear limits aren’t set. While a child might get the wedding of their dreams, the parents might find their retirement savings derailed as they funnel funds into the celebration.
As a parent (or as a person getting married), it’s important to set expectations early in the wedding-planning process. Sticking to those expectations might prove difficult as it’s easy to get carried away when planning for such an important event. Realistic budgeting is pivotal here; otherwise, wedding spending can quickly spiral out of control.
Don’t say ‘yes’ to the dress … or the debt
Borrowing for a one-day event can mean paying interest long after the vows are said. Personal loans for weddings typically range from $5,000 to $50,000. While the total cost of a personal loan depends on the interest rate and terms, an unsecured loan can be an expensive choice for a celebration.
Using a credit card or other revolving debt to pay for a wedding can be problematic if balances aren’t paid in full every statement cycle. Interest charges accumulate quickly, and before you know it, you’re paying interest on the interest charges from the previous statement cycle. It’s a potentially vicious cycle.
Ideally, a wedding day doesn’t create debt. But if you can’t pay cash, scaling back on expenses is important. Do you really want to be paying for an ice sculpture or a balloon arch a decade after the party? Thoughtfully consider each expense, understanding that if they’re financed, they might be around for a while.
Set a real budget and make it a family conversation
Parents should be clear about their contributions before planning begins. Align spending with shared values: Which moments matter most, and what’s just for show? Having a discussion on needs vs wants might not feel like a romantic conversation, but it’s an important one.
Creating a “must-have vs nice-to-have” list can save thousands of dollars. Finding less expensive alternatives to costly niceties can help keep costs down.
That might look like getting everyone on board for an inexpensive buffet meal instead of a four-course meal served by staff in white gloves. It might look like asking out-of-town guests to book their own hotel instead of offering to host everyone in a short-term rental for which the bride and groom foot the bill. Most wedding guests are understanding when it comes to budgetary restrictions. If not, perhaps they don’t belong on the guest list.
Give the gift that lasts longer than the cake
If your kid approaches you to ask for some financial help with their wedding, consider offering a different type of financial help. Paying off student loans, contributing to an IRA or offering help with the down payment on a house doesn’t necessarily make for a trending Instagram wedding post, but they help set the happy couple up for future success.
A financial gift that builds their future can mean more than a wedding celebration. But if they’re insistent on helping with wedding expenses instead, set clear expectations and don’t allow wedding fever to bust your budget. Your weddings can be something you truly enjoy, but you shouldn’t have to pay for that joy for years to come.
