Some lessons we teach our kids come naturally, such as saying “please” or “thank you.”
Others take a little more creativity and patience. Teaching them to give back definitely falls into that second category.
Generosity doesn’t happen overnight. Kids learn it by watching, feeling and doing. As parents, we’re constantly walking that line between wanting them to appreciate what they have and not turning every lesson into a lecture.
Sign up for Kiplinger’s Free Newsletters
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice on investing, taxes, retirement, personal finance and more – straight to your e-mail.
Profit and prosper with the best of expert advice – straight to your e-mail.
Kiplinger’s Adviser Intel, formerly known as Building Wealth, is a curated network of trusted financial professionals who share expert insights on wealth building and preservation. Contributors, including fiduciary financial planners, wealth managers, CEOs and attorneys, provide actionable advice about retirement planning, estate planning, tax strategies and more. Experts are invited to contribute and do not pay to be included, so you can trust their advice is honest and valuable.
Five simple, meaningful strategies can help your kids understand what it means to give back in ways that fit your family’s real life.
1. Start with gratitude
In our house, gratitude is something we try to instill in our kids. It isn’t some big “sit in a circle and reflect” moment, but more like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the best part of your day?”
These tiny moments help kids realize how much they already have, whether it be friends, family, food or a home … things we adults sometimes take for granted. When kids start noticing the good, they naturally want to share it.
Studies, such as one by Robert Emmons, a leading expert on gratitude, show that practicing gratitude for five minutes each day can make you 25% happier.
2. Let them take the lead
Kids have big hearts and even bigger opinions. If you’ve ever tried picking out an outfit for your daughter, you know exactly what I mean. It helps to let them take the lead when it comes to giving.
Maybe your child wants to donate old toys, help animals or collect food for families in need. When the choice is theirs, they feel ownership, and that’s when it really starts to click.
I learned this the hard way when I tried to clean out my kids’ toys on my own. Let’s just say it didn’t go well.
But once I gave them the time and space to go through their things and imagine another child playing with those toys, everything changed. It became fun, thoughtful and surprisingly meaningful.
3. Volunteer as a family
Some of my favorite memories come from the things we’ve done as a family. Look for ways to make giving back a shared experience, such as baking cookies for a school fundraiser, joining a beach cleanup or volunteering at a local shelter or food bank.
Even if everyone grumbles about it at first, those are often the moments that turn into the best stories later.
I’ve heard families talk about their annual Turkey Trot runs. Every year, everyone complains about waking up early, yet those mornings are the ones they laugh about most.
Looking for expert tips to grow and preserve your wealth? Sign up for Adviser Intel (formerly known as Building Wealth), our free, twice-weekly newsletter.
Kids love feeling like part of a team, and when giving back becomes a family tradition, it stops feeling like something everyone “should” do and becomes something special you want to do. It’s one of those things that brings people closer together.
Studies found that 81% of parents who give reported that their children under age 18 also participated in a charitable activity in the past year.
4. Build giving into their allowance
If your kids get an allowance, make generosity part of the plan. Encourage them to budget a portion for saving, a portion for spending and a portion for giving.
For example, if they receive a weekly allowance, have them set aside a few dollars or a small percentage for a cause or organization that matters to them. It’s a simple way to teach both financial responsibility and the joy that comes from helping others.
5. Involve kids in philanthropic decision-making
If giving is already part of your family’s budget and your kids are a little older, invite them to be part of the process. Let them research and suggest which organizations your family might want to support.
They can explore sites such as Charity Navigator or Charity Watch to learn about different causes and how nonprofits use their funds.
You can make it fun by turning it into a friendly “pitch session,” in which each child presents their favorite cause and everyone votes on where the donation goes.
If your family gives regularly, you might also explore opening a donor-advised fund (DAF), a vehicle that allows you to donate cash, appreciated securities and other assets and receive an immediate tax deduction.
The funds can be invested for tax-free growth, and you can direct grants to eligible charities.
For families giving larger amounts, a family foundation can be another great option, offering more structure and long-term involvement. Essentially, you’re establishing your own private charitable organization funded with family assets and controlled by your family.
As your kids grow, they can take an active role in managing the fund or foundation.
The heart of it all
Teaching our kids about giving back isn’t about big donations or perfect parenting moments. It’s about raising kind humans who notice the world around them.
When our kids learn that even the smallest act of kindness matters, whether it be sharing a snack, helping a friend or donating a toy, they begin to see themselves as part of something bigger.
That’s what it all comes down to: Helping them see that their actions, no matter how small, can make a real difference in someone’s day and in the world around them.
