(Image credit: Getty Images)
Question: My grandkids are constantly asking me to support their school and team fundraisers. I love them to pieces, but I’m on a budget. What should I do?
Answer: Being a grandparent can be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever experience. And it’s natural to want to give your grandkids the best of everything, whether it’s attention, affection, or money.
But while you may have an unlimited supply of the first two, if you’re a retiree on a budget, money may be tight. And that could put you in a tough situation if your grandkids are constantly asking you to support their school and team fundraisers. Here’s how to navigate those never-ending requests without upsetting your grandchildren or being needlessly hard on yourself.
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Make your financial security a non-negotiable item
When you’re asked to contribute toward your grandkids’ fundraisers, and you know you’re beyond your budget, the logical part of your brain might tell you to say no. But guilt has a sneaky way of creeping in.
That, however, could lead to poor decision making. So it’s important to remind yourself that your financial stability is simply not negotiable.
Linda Jensen, principal and owner of Heart Financial Group, says, “When you retire, your income is no longer growing like it was when you were working. And therefore, you have to have a plan.”
Jensen also thinks retirement isn’t necessarily the right time for new financial obligations, even if it’s occasional fundraising support.
“Health care costs rise, the markets fluctuate, inflation persists, and your income must last for an unknown amount of time. Giving should never compromise stability,” she urges.
Of course, Jensen recognizes that saying no to grandchildren can be difficult. However, she insists, “Your retirement security comes first and that doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you sensible.”
Create a budget for supporting your grandkids
Barry Nussbaum, founder of Nussbaum Law, a practice dedicated to family law and estate planning, recommends establishing an annual family or grandkids fund early each year.
“Decide on a figure that fits your budget, divide it across all your grandkids, and then follow that strictly,” he says. “That way, you can track and see exactly how much is left and for whom.”
Jensen agrees that setting a budget and sharing it is smart.
“Decide on an amount you can afford,” she says. “Once that number is reached, the answer becomes simple and stress-free, and this removes guilt from the moment.”
Find other ways to offer support
School PTOs and sports teams need money to function. If fundraising is your grandchild’s only path to team uniforms, for example, the money will have to come from somewhere.
But if you can’t afford it, that money doesn’t have to come from you. And there are ways to support your grandchildren and show them you care without constantly having to bust out your checkbook, says Jensen.
“Attend a game, share the fundraiser link, volunteer at events,” she says. Giving your time can be just as valuable and appreciated as donating money.
Another way to help? Find out what the money your grandkids are trying to raise will be used for, and see if you can work with them to minimize costs. If there’s a campaign to raise funds for costumes for the school play and you have extensive sewing experience, you may be able to offer up your time to reduce the amount of money the students need to scrounge up.
(Image credit: Getty Images)
Turn it into a learning experience
Your grandchildren may not realize how often they’re asking for your financial support.
“Kids live in the moment, so chances are, they have no idea how many asks they make of grandparents,” says Sari Goodman, educator and coach at The Parental Edge.
Not only can setting a grandkids or family budget help you say yes to various fundraisers without feeling overwhelmed, but it also offers you an opportunity to teach your grandkids about budgeting.
“Let the kids know how much is in your budget for charitable contributions for the year,” Goodman says. Then, you can divide that by the number of grandchildren you have and actually tell each grandchild how much money you’ll be able to contribute to their causes. This may help them prioritize which fundraisers they ask you to support.
Have your grown kids run interference
Handing over $20 here and $30 there for your grandkids’ fundraisers could really add up. And it’s important to let your loved ones know why that’s a concern of yours, says Jensen.
“Many grandparents struggle because they don’t want to disappoint their grandchildren or their adult children. But the greatest financial gift you can give your family is not becoming a financial burden,” she explains. “If overspending today creates insecurity tomorrow, everyone pays for it.”
A better idea? Explain the situation to your grown kids so they, in turn, can set expectations with your grandchildren. That way, you don’t necessarily have to be the person who says no all the time.
