Question: My wife and I retired at 70 with $4.3 million. I want to travel, but she feels guilty spending “our grandkids’ inheritance.” I love my grandchildren to pieces, but I feel like the time to travel and have fun is now. Help!
Answer: Baby boomers only had an average 401(k) balance of $249,300 in 2025, according to Fidelity. If you retired at 70 with $4.3 million saved, you may have a lot more financial flexibility in retirement than many of your peers.
But just because you’ve saved $4.3 million doesn’t mean you and your spouse both feel comfortable living it up. While you may be set on using a good chunk of that money to travel the world, your wife may be harboring feelings of guilt about spending money that could serve as an inheritance for your grandchildren. It’s not an uncommon scenario. Here’s how to handle it.
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You don’t necessarily have to choose
It’s not unusual for spouses to disagree on how to spend their money. But with $4.3 million to work with, there may not be a need for much debate.
“The good news is that this couple may not have to choose between traveling now and leaving a legacy for their grandchildren, ” says Ben Howarth, financial adviser at Barnum Financial Group.
As Howarth explains, there are strategies couples can use to allocate their retirement savings toward different goals, from annuities to life insurance policies. And those goals don’t have to conflict. Rather, they can complement one another.
JoePat Roop, president at Belmont Capital Advisors, agrees. A situation like this, he says, “usually has far more to do with mindset than math.”
“Many people view their life savings as one large bucket of money,” Roop explains. But there’s no reason you can’t split your savings into different buckets and allocate each to a different goal.
A well-thought-out plan could reduce feelings of guilt
It can be tricky to think flexibly about how to spend your retirement savings when you’re stuck in a certain mindset. But that could easily lead to feelings of guilt in the context of spending that really aren’t warranted.
“Once savings start to feel like the children’s money or the grandchildren’s inheritance, spending can feel irresponsible, even when the entire purpose of saving was to support retirement,” Roop explains. “That shift in thinking can quietly turn a very successful retirement into a restrictive one.”
Roop says that in this situation, there’s no reason the numbers can’t support both the wife and husband’s goal.
“A couple retiring at age 70 with 4.3 million dollars is not in a fragile position,” he insists. A portfolio that size, Roop explains, could reasonably support about $130,000 to $170,000 per year, depending on the withdrawal rate used. And that’s without outside income sources like Social Security or pensions.
That’s why this couple, and anyone else in a similar situation, can benefit from a well-thought-out financial plan.
“When these types of conflicts arise, working with a financial adviser is often the best course of action,” Howarth insists. “An adviser can present options, run different scenarios, and help provide the clarity and confidence needed to enjoy the money you worked so hard to earn.”
Roop agrees. An adviser could help this couple create a clear separation, he explains, so that a portion of their $4.3 million in savings is allocated specifically for an inheritance, leaving the rest free to spend.
“If inheritance is the concern, designate a specific amount as a legacy fund,” Roop says. “Invest it conservatively, document the intent, and mentally set it aside. Once that boundary is clear, the remaining assets can be viewed honestly for what they are — money intended to support the couple’s own retirement lifestyle.”
Recognize that time isn’t unlimited
While it’s certainly important to come to a mutual agreement on how to spend retirement savings, in this situation, travel shouldn’t necessarily be delayed while the finer points are ironed out.
As Roop points out, “Another important reality at age 70 is that time has become the limited resource, not money. Delaying travel or experiences in the name of safety often means those plans never come to fruition.”
An additional point to consider, says Roop, is that your grandchildren may truly want you to travel and enjoy your money, and that doing so could help them avoid feelings of guilt if a large inheritance ends up coming their way.
“Most children and grandchildren do not want a larger inheritance if it comes at the expense of watching their parents or grandparents live smaller than they should,” Roop insists. “What they usually want is to see them secure, fulfilled, and enjoying the life they spent decades building.”
It may not hurt to sit down with your grandchildren to set some expectations and have open discussions about your plans for your money. You may find that doing so helps you enjoy traveling to the fullest without letting underlying feelings of guilt hold you back in any way.
