:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/GettyImages-667816610-1af4678efa7e452aa296c7c5131961d9.jpg "How I’m Talking to Clients About Financial Compatibility in Relationships")
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/GettyImages-667816610-1af4678efa7e452aa296c7c5131961d9.jpg)
Key Takeaways
- Money is a common source of tension in relationships, with Fidelity’s 2024 Couples & Money study revealing that finances are a top relationship challenge for around 25% of couples.
- Financial compatibility begins with understanding each partner’s money scripts–the beliefs about what money is and how it should be managed, shaped by one’s upbringing.
- Open, structured conversations about both the logistical and emotional sides of money can help couples align their values and avoid financial misunderstandings.
- Financial advisors can play an important role in helping couples engage in open, values-based conversations that align their goals, reduce conflict, and foster a more joyful relationship with money.
Financial compatibility essentially boils down to alignment. When I encounter clients who aren’t financially aligned, it’s usually because they haven’t taken the time to have an open and honest conversation about their finances. Money can be emotionally charged, and most people have their own ideas on what effective money management looks like. In fact, according to Fidelity’s 2024 Couples & Money study, nearly 25% of couples said money is their greatest relationship challenge.
What I’m Telling My Clients
Couples often carry unspoken ideas about money shaped by their upbringing and experiences, and their individual ideas might be the opposite of what their partner thinks. I urge my clients to seek out joy, and that’s far easier with open communication about finances. It’s easier to align values when they’re discussed, and financial infidelity can be avoided when both partners agree on their goals and how to achieve them together.
Exploring your personal money scripts (those unconscious beliefs about money formed in childhood) with your partner can reveal if your financial goals are aligned.
While it’s important to discuss the logistical side of your finances together, such as reviewing your life insurance beneficiaries or how much student loan debt you’re carrying, it’s equally important to discuss your financial vision for the future and ensure you’re both aligned on how you’re getting there. For instance, retirement planning.
Tip
Finances can be a sensitive topic, and using something neutral like a checklist or a financial advisor to facilitate the conversation can not only guide the discussion but also help you and your partner feel like you’re on equal footing in the discussion.
The Bottom Line
I certainly don’t pose as a relationship expert, but I do know a great deal about the benefits of shared financial goals and aligned budgets. Clients want this type of guidance, but may not know where to find it. Offering this type of help to clients demonstrates that I want them to succeed–not just financially, but also holistically.
