6 Important Money Conversations to Have with Your Partner Right Now

Money can often be one of the biggest sources of stress and contention in a relationship. Fidelity Investments’ 2024 Couples and Money study revealed that 45% of couples admit to arguing about money at least sometimes. With rising costs and economic uncertainty, you may find it difficult to get on the same page as your partner when it comes to finances. However, open communication about money can also be a foundation for trust and financial security.

If you’re looking to achieve financial harmony with your significant other, here are six key money conversations every couple should have.

How Do You Each Feel About Money?

As a practical matter, everyone enters a relationship with different perspectives and their own money story. Extreme experiences are common. Some people were raised in a household where there was no talk about finances in general. Others grew up in families where carrying lots of debt was routine. 

There are a few points you may want to talk through to get on the same page about each other’s money mindsets:

• Whether you see yourself as a spender or a saver
• Your risk tolerance
• How your upbringing shaped your current financial habits
• Your financial goals and time horizon

What’s Your Debt Situation?

Debt can create unnecessary tension if not discussed early and openly. Honesty is the best policy for any debts you might carry.

It’s helpful to discuss:

• The types of debt you currently owe (credit card debt, student loans, personal loans, etc.)
• Your current debt balances and the interest rates tied to each type of debt
• Your preferred debt repayment method (aggressively paying off what you owe vs. only making minimum payments)

Even if you don’t completely agree on how to handle debt, finding at least some common ground is important to avoid money disagreements.

How Much Emergency Savings Do We Have?

Life happens. You never know when you might be faced with something like an unexpected layoff, auto repair, or medical bill. That’s why building and maintaining a financial safety net is critical to avoid debt and stay afloat when a virtually inevitable emergency arises.

Here are tactics for making an emergency savings fund a reality:

• Aim to jointly save at least three to six months’ worth of expenses in a high-yield savings account.
• Start with a small interim goal, such as $500 or $1,000, to avoid getting overwhelmed.
• Set up automatically recurring deposits from your checking account to your emergency savings account that align with your payday.

What Are Your Short- and Long-Term Goals?

You and your partner may not have identical financial goals, but that’s not necessarily a problem. The key is to share your respective goals openly and see where you can find common ground. Establishing shared short and long-term goals that you work toward together is vital.

Try to discuss the following:

• Establishing short-term goals such as paying off a revolving credit card balance, building an emergency fund, and saving for a vacation.
• Arranging long-term goals such as buying a home, starting a family, and investing for retirement.
• Setting goals that are “SMART” (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) to maintain financial progress and meet your deadlines.
• Working with a financial advisor to get expert financial help.

How Will You Handle Joint Expenses?

Perhaps the most practical point to discuss with your partner is how you’ll share your joint expenses. These include everyday expenses such as housing, groceries, and utilities. Choosing a method to handle your expenses can make managing your finances easier.

These may include:

• 50/50 split method: Each partner contributes 50% of joint expenses, regardless of their income.
• Income-based contributions method: Each partner contributes to joint expenses proportionately based on their income.
• Hybrid model: Maintain both 50/50 and proportionate-contribution accounts, depending on the type of expense.

You might cover your rent or mortgage using the 50/50 split method, but pay for groceries, utilities, and big-ticket items with income-based contributions. Remember that there’s no single, universally right way to go about it. Your goal should be to find a system that’s sustainable and fair for both individuals.

And in addition to deciding how much each partner will contribute to expenses that you deem joint, decide if each of you should be allowed to have their own personal financial accounts that the owner can use however they wish.

What’s the Budget—and Who Manages It?

Building and maintaining a monthly household budget keeps your finances organized and prevents overspending. Using tools like a shared Excel spreadsheet, a financial app like Mint or YNAB, or the pen and paper method can help you budget effectively so you can manage your debt as a team.

One key goal is to find a way to decide together how to create and monitor your household budget. Perhaps you should each have different roles. One of you would be responsible for paying the rent or mortgage, while the other would be responsible for managing credit card and utility bills. Establishing a regular monthly check-in and making budget adjustments as needed can help you stay on track.

The Bottom Line

Talking about money with your significant other doesn’t have to be stressful or uncomfortable. In fact, it can bring you closer together. By tackling these conversations early on and revisiting them often, couples can reduce tension, avoid financial surprises, and build a shared vision for the future. Don’t forget: financial compatibility isn’t about always agreeing, but instead it’s about working as a team.